by Linda Troxell

I believed God’s word would not return void
That all of His promises belong to us.
And I knew that when man disappoints,
I could cling to God, whom I trust. 
So, I prayed to God, but He did not answer.
I asked God what to do, but He remained mute.
So, why then was I still expected
To give Him my gratitude?

When I was bereft, God was no comfort.
When I was lonely I saw no sign that He cared.
I thought of God as my safe shelter
But in my need, He just wasn’t there.
I cried out to God in my anger
In my rage, I rebuked His name.
Not even that seemed to make a difference,
For all my anger at God, nothing changed.

I cried and cried in misery,
Until I finally fell asleep.
And I dreamed the most exquisite dream
In which God was listening to me weep.
He whispered that He will always love me.
He promised He is always near.
But unless I can sit still and trust Him
His voice can’t penetrate my fear.

When I awoke, I had full clarity.
My own sin was no longer hidden.
And so, I prayed to God in repentance 
And a small voice answered, “You are forgiven.”

Linda Troxell is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who lives in a small town in Southern California where she writes devotionals and poetry to post on her personal blog. For over twenty years, she worked to help men and women struggling with substance abuse and adolescent boys in group homes struggling with family difficulties. She is now retired and spends most of her time doing what she loves best, writing about the Lord, and spending time with her grandchildren.