Post-Cancer’s Stormy Seas

by Suzanne Newman

I’ve been eddied, tossed and broken, by this cancer’s gripping tide,
Now I’m drifting all alone at sea and don’t know how to feel inside,
I see the shore so far away, behind me, where my old-self stands,
What lies ahead is drifting currents, endless skies and shifting sands.
I don’t know who I am now, but I do know I have changed,
Cancer’s altered my whole world, with its raw eyes my view is rearranged;
I need to find my new self, can’t return to yester shores,
But I’m lost, confused, unsettled, still in pain and tired, unsure.
I feel I’m treading water and am frightened I’ll just sink,
Now I’m cured, I should be happy, but my frazzled brain can’t seem to think,
I’m panicked and impatient, apprehensive and don’t know,
I’m keen to find a safe new shore, but can’t see where to go.
When I started this whole journey and was waiting there on cancer’s shore,
I pictured the view opposite, where I was healthy, cured, happy once more,
The treatment was the bridge which I would use to cross the storm,
But I fell in troubled waters, which I’m powerless to calm or warm.
I fought the war on cancer, but my battle’s still not won,
It’s strangled my emotions and its lingering grip is cold and strong,
I thought by now I would be free, unbound from cancer’s tether,
But find I’m firmly cast adrift and lacking any clement weather.
But God speaks softly to me, reassures me that He’ll help,
He knows the trial I’m going through and hears each struggled, woeful yelp,
He understands my circumstance and says He’s got it all in hand,
That I must exercise my faith and in due course I’ll reach dry land.
The Lord’s my rubber-ring and raft, my lifeboat and supporter,
And He knows the plans He has for me, as His beloved daughter;
For now, I must swim patiently, across this new and challenging sea,
And trust that God will lead me on, to the person I’m supposed to be.
For God will keep my head above the surface and won’t let me drown,
And He’ll strengthen my muscles, so the numbness cannot drag me down,
The Lord will build my stamina, make me wiser, give me cause to fight,
And then I’ll be renewed, refreshed, ever- grateful for His grace and might.

Suzanne Newman lives in England with her family. She is currently 47yrs old and has been a born-again Christian since the age of 19. Suzanne has always enjoyed poetry, but only began writing it in earnest in 2018. She joined Facebook in 2019 with the sole aim of sharing her Christian poetry to a wide audience, with the hope of encouraging others in their faith who are going through similar struggles in life to her, such as cancer, depression, grief etc. However dark the theme of her poetry may be, Suzanne always shows how God’s light is there with us in any and every situation. You can follow her at    

One thought on “Post-Cancer’s Stormy Seas

  1. RE “the war on cancer”

    Most people would be much smarter and better informed if they had awareness of what the “war on cancer” movement and the “Breast Cancer Awareness” movement do NOT raise awareness about.

    Knowing that the most prominent cancer charities (Komen, American Cancer Society, etc) are large self-serving businesses instead of “charities” or that these groups suppress critical information on cancer, such as the known causes of cancer (instead they talk about “risk factors” of cancer) or that many “breast cancer survivors” are victims of harm instead of receivers of benefit, or that they’ve been intentionally misleading the ignorant public with deceptive cancer survival statistics, or that government health bodies such as the NIH are merely a pawns for corporate medicine, etc is a good start to get to the real truth — read this well referenced scholarly article’s (“A Mammogram Letter The British Medical Journal Censored”) afterword on the war on cancer at (scroll down to the afterword that addresses the fraudulent ‘war on cancer’).

    The recognition that breast cancer awareness was started by these business interests is another piece of the real awareness about the pink ribbon cult and the traditional war on cancer. Or that the orthodox cancer business has been denouncing, suppressing and squashing a number of very effective and beneficial alternative cancer approaches (instead they sold you the lie that only their highly profitable/expensive, toxic conventional cancer treatments are relevant). You probably guessed why: effective, safe, inexpensive cancer therapies are cutting into the astronomical profits of the medical mafia’s lucrative treatments. That longstanding decadent activity is part of the fraud of the war on cancer.

    So, raising “awareness” about breast cancer or raising funds for the war on cancer have hardly any other function than to drive more unsuspecting people into getting more expensive and unnecessary tests (think mammography) and then, often, cancer treatments (chemo and radiation therapy).

    The reality is that the war on cancer has been and still is, by and large, a complete failure (read Dr. Guy Faguet’s ‘War on cancer,” Dr. Sam Epstein’s work, or Clifton Leaf’s book, or Siefried’s work on this bogus ‘war’). The criminal medical establishment deliberate and falsely self-servingly claims and distorts a ‘win’ in the bogus ‘war on cancer’ when the only notably win is a reduction in lung cancer due to a huge reduction in smoking, which has nothing to do with their cancer treatments. Lying is their mode of operation.

    Since the war on cancer began orthodox medicine hasn’t progressed in their basic highly profitable therapies: it still uses primarily and almost exclusively highly toxic, deadly things like radiation, chemo, surgery, and drugs that have killed millions of people instead of the disease.

    As long as the official “war on cancer” is a HUGE BUSINESS based on expensive TREATMENTS (INTERVENTIONS) of a disease instead of its PREVENTION, logically, they will never find a cure for cancer. The upcoming moonshot-war on cancer inventions, too, will include industry-profitable gene therapies of cancer treatment that are right in line with the erroneous working model of mechanistic reductionism of allopathic medicine. The lucrative game of the medical business is to endlessly “look for” a cure but not “find” a cure. Practically all resources in the phony ‘war on cancer’ are poured into treating cancer but almost none in the prevention of the disease. It’s proof positive that big money and a total lack of ethics rule the official medical establishment.

    It’s just like with any bogus official “war” (‘war on drugs’, ‘war on terrorism’, ‘war on covid’, etc) — it’s not about winning these wars but to primarily prolong them because behind any of these fraudulent “war” rackets of the criminal establishment is a Big Business, such as the massive cancer industry. The very profitable TREATMENT focus of conventional medicine, instead of a PREVENTION focus which these official medical quacks (or rather crooks) can hardly make any money off, is a major reason why today 1 of 2 men and 1 in 3 women can expect a cancer diagnosis at some point in their lifetimes yet that rate was multiple times lower 5 decades ago when the phony ‘war on cancer’ began (1 in about 16). And 5 decades ago when this bogus war began cancer was the second leading cause of death and 50 years later it is STILL the second leading cause of death in the country this “war” was declared in. These facts alone prove we are NOT winning the war on cancer.

    The history of the pink ribbon movement and the alleged war on cancer is fraught by corruption, propaganda, and the hoodwinking of the unsuspecting public. The entire war on cancer is a disinformation campaign. The real war is on the unsuspecting public. Does anyone really think it’s a coincidence that double Nobel laureate Linus Pauling called the ‘war on cancer’ a fraud? If you look closer you’ll come to the same conclusion. But…politics and self-serving interests of the conventional medical cartel, and their allied corporate media (the mainstream fake news media), keep the real truth far away from the public at large. Or people’s own denial or indifference of the real truth.


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