I, Sisyphus

by Ethan McGuire

I try to talk to Jesus, but
sometimes I still talk to the Devil too.
I try to grow the good fruit, but
my worst sins are the ones I can’t undo.
I try to read the Bible, but
I keep on drifting to, through, past the rules.
I try to humble myself, but
my knees-bent prayers keep judging many fools.
I try to love the whole church, but
they keep their eyes on me as if I’ve sinned.
I try to tell them stories, but
the best ones I must ever still amend.

I am both tame and untamed, but
I want to go beyond and remain wild.
I try to keep remembering
the way God saved me when I was a child.
I see God throughout nature, yet
I cannot help but see the Devil too
in all the death and killing and
unnatural deeds which I cannot undo.

Ethan McGuire is a writer and a healthcare cybersecurity professional whose essays, fiction, poetry, and reviews have appeared in Calla PressThe DispatchEmerald Coast ReviewFoundling HouseLiterary MattersThe New Verse NewsTime of Singing, and The University Bookman, among other publications. He lives with his wife and their daughter in the Florida Panhandle on the Gulf of Mexico.

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