by Ana Atanasković
I started the journey to the interior of my own personality with the emotionalthe emotional clearing technique. It is a good psychiatric technique. It was a long time ago. I remember every pebble on the way to myself. But, soon after that, faith entered my life. Faith was something that was foreign to me before, at an early age. There were a lot of reasons.
You, my Lord, wait for people to discover you, you don’t impose yourself. And I discovered You. I felt how wide Your world is, even though it is entered through a small door. But it is wider than all the other widths that are offered to me, they impose on me. You, Lord, do not offer yourself. You are waiting for me.
I set off to the road of faith, went all the way to Iasi in Romania, to the relics of Saint Petka. It was a long time ago. Then I thought again that there is something even wider than faith in You. And you gave me freedom. Because You don’t interfere, you don’t advise people without asking them if you can advise them, you don’t impose yourself. You are waiting for me. And I came back to you again. With Your help, I managed to forgive the “unforgivable”, to someone who still tries to destroy me from the roots. I was able to do it only with You.
I hear people say: “Seek abundance”. What abundance? First,First, I want the Kingdom of Heaven, then peace, then repentance, then forgiveness and only then, if necessary, abundance. First freedom, then abundance. Freedom in Your eyes because You are what is the deepest part of myselfmyself. It’s that simple. And I used to look for an answer in entanglements! It was a mistake.
You are the perfect Teacher. And you love me the way I am. It is difficult to be like You, Jesus Christ, I do not dispute. Extremely difficult. But it’s easy to know you’re always there.
In my last fall, only a few weeks ago, after a few hours of agony, I remembered You. And everything wrong was gone. It was so simple. And faster than all the techniques I have used before.
Thy will be done, my Lord. And “let Your grace comfort me.”
Ana Atanasković is a writer from Serbia. She graduated English language and literature at the Faculty of Philology in Belgrade, and holds a Master’s degree in advertising in literature. Ana has over ten published books to her credit. As a journalist, she wrote for Serbian edition of ELLE, as well as for many prominent Serbian magazines and websites (currentlym she writes for one print magazine and two digital publications). She has won several awards for best book reviews and stories. Besides, she also works as a content writer.