by Katie Sampias

I cannot sleep.
Instead, I sit and watch the amber glow brighten slowly over the water on the horizon.
The darkness is slowly turning in to the dawn.
I watch the subdued activity in the streets below;
Some trucks and cars wind lazily around sleeping streets and traffic lights transition colors periodically.
 
I sit here in the in between.
In between the darkness and the dawn.
In the middle of my life, from birth to death.
In the middle of the gestation period for the life I carry within my womb.

I carry this life within me - so precious and so delicate.
I wait.
Something is wrong.

A new war erupts in a seemingly faraway place,
But affects us all;
After two years of waiting,
Waiting for the pandemic to end.
One that has thrown our lives into disarray and the world economy into flux.
 
The world now seems even more uncertain and unstable.
I feel helpless.
I try to pray for those in the war-torn world and the life of my unborn.
I wait.

I wait for the medications to work to heal the condition of my newborn.
The days pass by.
I have no control.
All I can do is ask God to be in the situation.
And I unexpectedly find His presence is strong.
It's in the doctors and nurses and support staff, all working together to protect the life within me.
We have life giving chats and exchanges and the different personalities breathe colour into this clinical space.
It’s in the pastoral care and social workers checking in on how I am feeling,
And in the prayers of friends and loved ones for the well-being of my baby and of me.
I feel held.

The love and life flowing through those involved in my care is the antithesis to the death, war, illness I sit amongst.
I let go and place my trust in God and the mystery of life and death and light and darkness
And let myself be enveloped by God's supernatural peace;
His love and presence abounds in this world, even in this in between time and place.
 
I pray that my sisters and brothers in this world experiencing sickness, war and death will feel this peace in their darkness too and the love of others in the simple warmth of those around them.

Amen

Katie Sampias lives in Brisbane, Australia.  She recently gave birth to her third child, who thankfully so far appears to be completely healthy despite her experiencing some complications with him during her third trimester. Katie has previously worked as a lawyer and in marketing and communications. She loves writing historical fiction pieces based on the lives of women of the gospels and prose reflections on where God has worked in her life.  You can find more of her writing at whitewaves.net

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