by Jake Hawkey

I threw 10p into a well,
making a wish that my life
would always be difficult,
knowing the diamond of me
could not be fully formed
if everything was easy-peasy-
lemon-squeezy all the time

I still believe this is the only wish
God ever intervened to grant me,
seeing a boyish reflection
as I did from the top lip
of the well, promise

later I developed a terrible habit,
a terrible habit I won’t go into here—
despite miles & miles of contrary efforts
why is it we change right at the precipice,
when the enemy is at our black gate,
when it feels like there’s nothing
left to defend but a tatty bridge
to a self we can no longer love
or care to maintain?

if the light of God 
does not let darkness remain,
how does transformation arrive
so late in the day, so improbably,
like sunlight hitting a wristwatch
on the other side of a lake,
changing everything

Jake Hawkey studied art at the University of Westminster and poetry at Queen’s University Belfast. He was selected for Poetry Ireland Introductions in 2020 and is currently a poetry PhD candidate at Queen’s.

• Twitter