by Christal Ann Rice Cooper

i smile at You,
my Everything
my “little nothing” heart beating
goosebumps
at the thought of Your Sacred

Heart, my First Love,
shining rays of light
unto my heart

absent of all roses
only thorns thick,
as the onyx of my nights
not a time, but a place
You have me inhabit

this is where You want me to be
this is what You want me to feel

what You felt hanged on the cross
You Crucified
i experience
The Sweetest Of All my Sweets

You give me Your chalice
as I drink
the less thirsty You become

knowing the place i must go,
the earth’s darkest holes
of the despaired, the diseased, the detested

their face i see, Your Face i see
their hand i hold, Your hand i hold

and yet i do not see, hear, taste, or feel
You, abandon me on all sides
to the point of drowning in blasphemies:

if there be no God – there can be no soul
if there be no soul than You also are not true.
not a single thought of Heaven enters my mind
i want You with all the powers of my soul
and yet there between us is terrible separation

not even listening to David’s harp for these past ten years
gives me comfort

yet I do not doubt that it was You who called me.
i am willing with all my heart to suffer all that I suffer.

even if You were to tell me
“I have no more wine.
I have no more blood.”

i still want to satiate Your Thirst
with every single drop of blood
that You can find in me.

show me Your Sacred Face
the Face of Him Whom i love…

my God, my God
why have You forsaken me?

still
i smile at Your Hidden Face.

Christal Ann Rice Cooper identifies herself as a Jesus-loving and Gospel-relying person. She is a newspaper writer, feature stories writer, poet, fiction writer, photographer, and painter. She has a Bachelor’s in Criminal Justice and completed all of her poetry and fiction workshops required for her Master’s in Creative Writing with a focus on poetry. She maintains a website at www.chrisricecooper.com

She, her husband Wayne, sons Nicholas and Caleb, cats Nation and Alaska reside in the St. Louis area.